Okay, so to begin with I’m going to straight away back up the point which I’m about to make. I spent about 40 minutes on my first draft of a blog post and suddenly the entire website crashed. Someone is not looking out for me today. So here is take two of my post today. I love reading blogs to the point where I actually have 6 or 7 ladies who I read their blogs pretty much every single day and dozens more where I check up on a few times a week. I just love seeing everybody lies styles and connecting with individuals through their perspectives on their lives and creativity. It’s wonderful. But there’s one thing that has always got my goat a little bit when it comes to bloggers, especially the more arty parenting bloggers and that’s just how effortless and positive everything is. Now for the majority of the time I love that, but sometimes it’s just makes me feel ever so slightly useless and that’s what I’ve tried to portray since beginning blogging over a year ago. (I know that I have only been blogging for about 10 months but I did actually have a cringy first blog which was scrapped but somewhere on the World Wide Web is still existing).
Every single person has days where they feel overwhelmed or wonder how people cope with certain things and I believe that we should celebrate these things and let everyone know that we’re on all on the same boat. I could’ve written a blog post today on something fabricated or just ignored the baby part and written about a beauty Which I’m not going to lie I’ve actually previously done on the odd occasion but I’ve decided to bite the bullet today.
To be honest today isn’t as bad as yesterday, possibly because it’d be quite difficult to make today as bad or worse than yesterday. Yesterday I had to graciously say goodbye to my laptop (thanks to a shove on the screen from a overzealous baby) and also to my landline phone (thanks to a still overzealous baby who tried to help me clean the toilet). I also had moaning pretty much none stop and for some reason Leo felt the need to climb on possibly everything accessible to him. It was a hard hard day.
today I still have a wingy poorly baby but he seems pretty content to cuddle up and watch cartoons with me which is nice because I feel super duper poorly too.
On another positive note I haven’t worn any makeup in a few days and my skins cleared up nicely and I feel fresh. Always look on the bright side.
Half the time I feel like I have 0 time and everything is crowded on top of me and the other half I’ve got an abundance of time but no matter which of these stages my life is at, I always make time for myself and to do the things which I enjoy.
Being a mum, it is quite hard to sit down and to read a book or even eat a hot plate of food sometimes and there are a number of tricks which I have learned to make the days a nice balance. One of the main things that I have worked out works best for me, is strict scheduling. Ever since Leo has been a young baby he has always fallen into a routine pretty quickly but even so we work hard to make sure that it is kept.
I am a person who would prefer to get up early as opposed to go to bed later (if you told me this two years ago that I would be saying that I would probably laugh in your face) so making sure that Leo’s bedtimes are earlier is essential. On a normal night he will fall asleep at between 8:30 and 9pm and this works nicely for everyone. To be honest If I had it my way it would be earlier but Rico gets home from work between 7:30pm and 8pm so it gives them a nice little bit of time together in the evenings before bedtime.
This means that he wakes up at around 6am. Leo likes to watch cartoons for the first half hour to 45 minutes when he wakes up and play with his toys on the floor until he fancies breakfast so that is usually the time where I make him his morning bottle in preparation of when he wants it and update my blog if I need to. Then while Leo is drinking his morning bottle and having his morning porridge I will usually put the washing in the washing machine.
His naps are also pretty consistent on a day to day basis, his first being at around 11am and second being a couple of hours later and this is usually the point in the day when I am able to catch up on my tv programmes or read a book. I’m really thinking about getting an ebook so I can read when Leo is awake as he is drawn in by book pages and finds great amounts of entertainment in ripping my pages and sometimes even eating them.
I’ve found recently that I really enjoy reading fantasy books (which I’ve enjoyed since I was a little girl), I am also teaching myself sign language and attempting to teach leo baby sign language (he knows the sign for food and laughs whenever I do it before a meal), me and Rico also like to make time to watch films because cinema going has always been one of out favourite activities since we first starting dating and even though we can’t go to the cinema for the time being we still thoroughly enjoy finding good new films.
Work has also been one of the biggest factors in my free time as I have a beautiful lengthy bus journey which gives me the opportunity to read sometimes whole books. Unfortunately I haven’t mastered is sleeping on any kind of transport and is something to be thoroughly desired. Hopefully one I can one day achieve.
I know what you’re thinking, Clickbait? Unfortunately not, I would love for this post to be exactly that, I really would but I genuinely cannot stop sleep walking and to be honest this is more of a cry for help than a blog post. I have never frequently sleep walked before, if ever? and to be quite real with you I never ever thought I would suffer with this weird ailment in my life.
It began like most parents the sleepless nights, getting up regularly to feed and comfort their baby. We have gone through a lot of different stages with Leo’s sleeping pattern from sleeping in his moses basket, to him developing bronchitis and co-sleeping to attempting, to get him to sleep in his cot and failing, to him finally becoming ready to sleep in his cot and now me preventing him.
Now a pretty standard night will start with Leo falling asleep at about 8:30pm and sleeping through until at least 11pm. I will always feed him and put him back in his cot and go to sleep but every single morning without fail, I will wake up to his charming little face either poking me in the eye or crawling over my head. This means I either have an extremely clever child who can get out of their cot which is 3/4 their height crawl over to our bed and climb up into our bed (not likely at all) or I’m sleep walking and just bringing him into the bed every night.
I am pretty open when I say I have no problem with co-sleeping. I understand the risk and I do everything that I can to make it as safe for him as possible. We have a huge bed guard, he sleeps away from rico and never has any of the duvet or pillows. Like I said before we co-slept from about 2-6 months so that is not my issue. My issue is that I want him to stay in a regular routine which is easy for everybody involved and to be honest I have no idea what to do and the thought of me picking him up and feeding him when I’m in a delirious state makes me completely uneasy.
I’ve tried everything I can at this stage to prevent this from happening, I’ve moved Leo’s cot into the furthest point in our room so I physically have to get up and pick him up as opposed to before when his cot was pushed next to my bed but even that didn’t work.
So what I’m trying to say if their are any mamas who have dealt with this or have even just any suggestions or tips, please can you give me some advice. I genuinely don’t know what to do at this point?
I love bloggers who are brutally honest, they are literally the angels who flew down from heaven. The people who are completely happy to say that their child just spit up in their hair or they forgot to give their child dinner before they go to bed because everyone does it and as much as I love so so many different varieties of blogs including the ones who are all super duper happy all day and nothing ever goes wrong it can be a bit of a blow to your motivation when you read these peoples blogs and realise that you can’t do that.
I promise you that everyone is the same, everyone has days where they wish they could cry and sleep and eat horrible food and pawn your child off on a family member because it’s just too much and I promise that it’s completely ok. Parenting is such a learning curve every single day and sometimes you are doing 2 loads of washing with a baby under your arm on 2 hours sleep whilst feeling happy and don’t give it a second thought. Think about how incredible that is.
So I thought that I’d just give context to my day so far. Leo didn’t want to go to sleep until about 12:30 last night when his bedtime is usually 8:30pm and it is now 1:06 pm the next day and we still haven’t napped so I can imagine today is going to be similar. He has been running around butt naked and everytime I come near him with a nappy he screams at me so I am just letting him watch peppa pig whilst playing with the nappy he should be wearing because I am just too tired to argue with him. On the other hand I got a cute video of him shaking his booty to ‘bubble butt’ which was entertaining but I have to hoover, iron the washing, clean all of the kitchen and go to the shops to get something for dinner but I am completely procrastinating with this blog post so thanks guys for that.
I hope if any mamas out their are having a bad day they realise that it’s ok and you don’t need to be perfect every single day at all and just to enjoy the tiny little points in a day. Comparing yourself to someone is the worst thing that you could do and it’s important to always hold yourself to your personal standard and not someone else’s because you never know what goes on behind the closed door.
Here’s a couple of photos of Leo mid yawn and then laughing at himself for yawning.
When you find out you’re pregnant, I can guarantee you that one of the first things that comes into your mind will not be ‘how will I be able to ever drink a drink fast enough for it to stay hot within the next 18 years of my life’ but I can guarantee you that it should be up there.
Having a baby is a wonderful, wonderful thing and something that I would not change in a heartbeat but being able to sit down at a table with a plate and use both a knife and a fork without having a child dipping their hands into my baked beans is something I crave on an almost daily basis. Fortunately we have literally just bought Leo a high chair (Thankyou Argos clearance sale) and he seems to like it more than any bouncer that he’s ever had as he’s sitting upright and can reach all of his toys. But up until this point I have had to really, really change my way of doing pretty much everything in my life.
Between the ages of about 2 and 4 months Leo refused to be put down for more than 30 seconds at a time before wailing until he was picked up, I literally cannot tell you how many times I had to wee with a baby over my shoulder, it was a pitiful existence but here are some tips of how I made my life easier for other mummies or curious people out there.
- As leo was napping every few hours for about half an hour or so it was my ideal time to do pretty much everything that I needed to do in my life. Unfortunately for me he is the lightest sleeper in the world so where he drops he has to stay so to make my life easier I moved my dressing table into the living room. So he would nap on the sofa and I could do my makeup with him in my immediate eyesight.
- Baby wearing became a huge part of every single day life, it was easy to do some jobs including light cleaning, the washing up and hanging the washing up (don’t do anything including being on the floor or having to go near the floor because your knees will break and you’ll have butt for days).
- Babies go through clingy stages, it is to be expected. They’re little and confused and just want to stay with their mums until they can crawl or distract themselves so eating with babies is pretty essential for some people. I have learned to eat with Leo on one of my knees and to move the plate as far in the opposite direction as I can so he can’t touch it. To make it even more impressive I’ve included a photo holding Leo while I was eating a plate with chopsticks. I was so proud of myself.
- A number of my blog posts have actually been written with Leo sitting on my lap whacking the keys with similar ferocity to myself and then after I finish I have gone back and corrected all of the extra letters that he managed to put in. I don’t know why but pressing the keys really is his favourite thing to do, maybe because he sees me do it and wants to be the same but it is ever so sweet, especially when he falls asleep hitting the keys.
Remember having a baby is not about hitting milestones and making sure they are doing everything they need to, it’s about doing the best for your child and helping to nurture them to reach their personal best. If they are super independant from the get go then great, if they need conformation and cuddles for months and months amazing.
Okay guys, so you’re going to have to give me a bit of time on this blog to explain myself as I’ve tried writing this a few times before this is the only way I have been able to bring it all together. Although this is a blog for all of you and it’s a post for me too today.
When I initially explained what I wanted to write about to Ricardo I was met with a plethora of giggles, not maliciously but just because it sounds ridiculous when I try and explain it.
So here goes guys I am a superhero.
Now when I say that I am not being pretentious or self-centered but just giving myself a little bit of credit with a bit of creative licence. I feel like I deserve credit as do so many other mothers and fathers out there.
Obviously when you are a superhero you have a number of superpowers and since Leo was born (my metaphorical spider bite, I feel like I’m invincible. Here are my powers:
- I brought a child into the world (if that isn’t super strength then I don’t know what is.)
- I can go nights with minimal sleep (we are currently on day 3 with about 4 hours sleep between 4-8am because I have a teething, chesty baby yaay).
- I can look after a child full time, make dinner. clean the house, wash the clothes and still have time to run a blog.
- I can wake up with the smallest grunt or whimper before it turns into a unconsolable scream.
- One of my proudest talents is I am now able to tell how much water (150ml, 180ml) goes into a bottle purely by listening to the water rise in pitch as it enters the bottle so when I am half asleep at half 3 in the morning making a bottle all it takes is a quick glance to double check.
- I can now tell what My child wants by the tone of his cry.
- I have developed a method of being able to reach anything within a meter and a half when I have a (extremely light) sleeper sleeping on myself using my feet and other objects such as scarfs and hooking things with xbox controllers (usually food).
- I have worked out ways of making food out of minimal food in the house when it occurs even though when I left home I could barely make a decent pasta sauce.
- I can tell when my child is tricking me for attention.
Now I can see how this can be taken as pretentious but with motherhood you are subjected to hours of sometimes lonely thankless work with no guidelines and rules to get you through the day. Especially nowadays with social media everybody filtering their lives to an inch of their lives, sometimes you can feel overwhelmed and like you are drowning but we all need to take the time out of the days to celebrate the little things because even though your child may not be sleeping throughout the night, didn’t take to breastfeeding, accidentally uttered a swear word that they heard when you stubbed your toe, or refuses to stay clean that’s okay and that’s normal and the work you are doing is absolutely incredible and you are a Superhero.
Breastfeeding is one of those topics in which it is extremely difficult to talk about. There’s an ongoing battle with fighting for rights for women to breastfeed when and where they want and although this is a negative video towards breastfeeding this is purely relating to myself. I have no problem with women who choose to breastfeed and believe that breastfeeding is natural, beautiful and in cases relating to an individual can be better than bottle feeding.
I also believe that bottle feeding also is another subject which is difficult to talk about but when it comes to feeding a baby there’s no one wrong and one right way. Breastfeeding is subject to personal preference and we should support whatever is best for mother and baby.
The link for my video is below.
Why I stopped Breastfeeding and Why It Was The Best Decision For Me
You can also subscribe to my channel but clicking Here.
When I told people that I was going to be having a baby one of the first reactions that I always got was ‘You’re throwing your life away.’ and ‘You’re not going to have the social life that you used to.’ or words to that affect but i can’t tell you how wrong this has turned out to be.
Having Leo has given me the motivation to try and make something out of my life and to provide the best possible outcomes for myself and my family. This is one of the reasons in which I started this blog, so that I could document and watch Leo, Ricardo and myself all grow as people and to be honest I don’t think I’m throwing my life away at all, if anything I’m opening myself up to so many more opportunities in life. Before Leo I was clubbing numerous times a week, living at home and working the bare bare minimum, only enough to afford the things that I wanted. Now I have a fiance, my own flat, a beautiful son and a ever growing social life which I am extremely lucky to have. I have seen people who previously I hadn’t seen in months and months and even met some new friends. So far this week we have had a lovely time.
On Monday I decided to go into my local town and saw one of my old friends who I used to catch the bus with from my mums house. We went to her work and had hot chocolates and a catch up. It was the first time for her meeting Leo and he loves the ladies so enjoyed all of the attention that he got. it’s quite funny because my social media is just full of my friends taking photos of him but I can’t blame them at all I do the exact same.
Tuesday evening Leo’s godmother and my oldest best friend Danielle came over for the evening and Leo got cuddles and we all watched Big brother together. Previously before Leo, I had lost touch with her as we took different routes in life after high school but in my later stages of pregnancy we met up again and now it feels like we never stopped talking. It really is a blessing to have a friend like her in my life.
We went on another trip today to see a new friend Beth and we all went to the local weather spoons, Leo was impeccably behaved but yet again he had all of the ladies attention so he was loving it. It’s so nice to see people enjoying Leo as much as I do and finding his personality so utterly charming.
We also have two other play dates this week with old friends getting to meet Leo for the first time so he will enjoy being the centre of attention yet again but it’s lovely that he does get to interact with other people than Ricardo, myself and our families because I can see that it makes him thrive as an individual.
what have you been up to this week?