I’ve dealt with body confidence issues for all of my life. There have been periods of time when my entire self worth was based on how much I appreciated my body and other times when I couldn’t even look at myself naked in a bathroom mirror without cringing. One of the things that I was most worried about after having leo was how I was going to perceive myself and to be honest it went pretty much as expected.
From the time Leo was born up until recently I have been dealing with a lot of self-hatred and difficulty accepting my new weight. I went from a size 12 to a size 18 which is a massive jump and the fact that I didn’t fit into the majority of my old clothes really made me feel uncomfortable going out and even just seeing people.
I was so infatuated with the weight that I had put on and the way that my body had changed I didn’t realise that it’s normal and obsessing over pounds and stretch marks is unhealthy, so the past couple of weeks I have tried massively to change my view. Instead of obsessing over my weight I am now concentrating on being healthy in general. So getting exercise and eating healthy is my new priority. I’m not going to worry about the way my body looks because as long as I treat myself well, in theory I should feel well about myself.
I dealt with my weight gain for a long time with binge eating unhealthy food which is so so unhealthy for your mental, physical health and every single thing else. I did not value myself so didn’t treat myself. Now I am making a conscious effort to home cook everything, not eat in between meals and doing exercise at home.
So I exercise by going outside everyday but I also make a conscious effort to do sit ups when Leo is in his chair as he finds that exercise the most entertaining (every time I sit up I make faces at him and he finds it hilarious). I increase the amount of sit ups I do a day by 5 and a currently on 50 a day. I find it the most motivating way to exercise consistently.
This is the current weight that I am at and I feel so so happy.